Jennifer Hill |
Tech Venture Lawyer. Talking head for MSNBC & CBSi. Globe trotter. |
In my ongoing quest for the perfect framework for understanding haters, I created The Disapproval Matrix**. (With a deep bow to its inspiration.) This is one way to separate haterade from productive feedback. Here’s how the quadrants break down:
Critics: These are smart people who know something about your field. They are taking a hard look at your work and are not loving it. You’ll probably want to listen to what they have to say, and make some adjustments to your work based on their thoughtful comments.
Lovers: These people are invested in you and are also giving you negative but rational feedback because they want you to improve. Listen to them, too.
Frenemies: Ooooh, this quadrant is tricky. These people really know how to hurt you, because they know you personally or know your work pretty well. But at the end of the day, their criticism is not actually about your work—it’s about you personally. And they aren’t actually interested in a productive conversation that will result in you becoming better at what you do. They just wanna undermine you. Dishonorable mention goes to The Hater Within, aka the irrational voice inside you that says you suck, which usually falls into this quadrant. Tell all of these fools to sit down and shut up.
Haters: This is your garden-variety, often anonymous troll who wants to tear down everything about you for no rational reason. Folks in this quadrant are easy to write off because they’re counterproductive and you don’t even know them. Ignore! Engaging won’t make you any better at what you do. And then rest easy, because having haters is proof your work is finding a wide audience and is sparking conversation. Own it.
The general rule of thumb? When you receive negative feedback that falls into one of the top two quadrants—from experts or people who care about you who are engaging with and rationally critiquing your work—you should probably take their comments to heart. When you receive negative feedback that falls into the bottom two quadrants, you should just let it roll off your back and just keep doin’ you. If you need to amp yourself up about it, may I suggest this #BYEHATER playlist on Spotify? You’re welcome.
** I presented The Disapproval Matrix to the fine folks at MoxieCon in Chicago yesterday, and they seemed to find it useful, so I figured I’d share with the class. It was originally inspired by a question my friend Channing Kennedy submitted to my #Realtalk column at the Columbia Journalism Review.
(via cherylstrayed)
Love chickens but hate commitment? Try renting them.
Jennifer Hill & Michael Port take on two marketing gurus who threw budding careers aside to capitalize on their series of products for the serious home bartender.
Parenthood … :)
(Teething already!)
New Year Arizona style
Happy 2013!
Ah … Winter….
Today, I am done with women bending over backwards to disavow feminism. I’ve been done with this for a while but I am EXTRA done today.
I mean, ladies, do whatever you want and be whatever you want and be however you want and believe whatever you want but stop saying, “I’m not a feminist,…
Now this is where I would like to call home!
… a great sentiment to begin the new fall season ….
Dinner party chic
This is our last pre-baby dinner party in the garden. Comfort is key. This outfit has worked well for the office and also for a casual weekend affair.
Top = Marni (non-maternity)
Skirt = Isabella Oliver Ruched Skirt (maternity - I love this skirt!)
Flats = vintage Chanel lucite slides
One of the many great dressing pleasures of the summer is that Lucite goes with everything. This purchase was worth every last penny.
On the menu this evening:
- Gazpacho, Moroccan flat bread, arugula salad, pasta with German chanterelle mushrooms, baked chicken with feta and spinach, new potatoes, chocolate sorbet (the Food52 recipe blogged earlier), and banana-pudding-that-rivals Magnolia cafe.
Scrunch’s dad is an outstanding chef. He is to thank for all of it. I am grateful that he loves cooking. As the days pass, he will definitely be doing more of it!
Catch up before you tune in to tonight’s all-new White Collar, directed by Tim DeKay, at 10/9c.
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